I need time to relax.  I’ve gotten better at giving myself time to relax during everyday life, but right now I feel like this weekend I need some time just for myself, because I’ve been surrounded by my peers for a good two weeks straight.  There was the fall field trip, then I had a field trip the day after so I saw people that day as well, and then this whole week, which felt really long.  Ugh, and tomorrow is going to be tiring, because I’m going to the kyuudo class, and I’m anxious about clothes and stuff, because I definitely don’t have the right attire and I don’t know if I can borrow it or if they expect me to already have it.  Ugh.  On the other hand, I’m pretty sure karaoke is going to happen tomorrow, so that’ll be fun.

I feel like I’ve reached a level of comfort here.  I’ve mentioned in past posts how I’m getting used to living here, but I’ve definitely reached that point where I live here, and that’s just the way it is.  In a way it’s weird, because the language barrier is always a problem, and it definitely makes living here isolating and difficult as compared to living in a place where you speak the language fluently.

That being said, I’m reaching a level of proficiency where I can understand basic interactions that occur on a daily basis, like going into a store, asking where something is, asking how to get somewhere, asking for help with something, etc.  This is encouraging because it’s something I can do entirely in Japanese and can understand well enough.

But of course there’s a flipside to this.  Today for my Visual Arts class we went to an exhibit of an artist’s work (the exhibit was being held on the sixth floor of a department store.  Weird, right?), and by the time we had finished the exhibit, my teacher noticed that the artist himself was there and was talking to some people.  We went up and introduced ourselves and asked some questions that we had about the art, and this is the flipside: I did an abysmal job of asking my question, which had to do with a particular piece of art that, to me, mirrored Andy Warhol’s prints of the Campbell’s soup cans and the Marilyn Monroes, and whether or not this particular artist drew any inspiration from Andy Warhol.  I’m pretty sure I made no sense whatsoever.

So, while I can get around ok, I can’t really sustain any kind of interesting or meaningful conversation.  A few weeks ago I realized that I can use simple grammar to convey almost anything I want to say as long as I know the right vocabulary, but I realized that there are levels of sophistication in any language, and being fluent is all about achieving a higher level of sophistication in a language.  Sounds kind of obvious, but initially I was so worried about being able to communicate at all that now that I can communicate certain concepts given the right vocabulary, I’m realizing that the next step is using more advanced grammar and using it in place of the easier way to say what I want to say.

Not to say I can never use simple grammar, but when I’m trying to say something complex, or long-winded, using grammar that matches the complexity of my statement is what I need to strive for.  Well, maybe I’m not entirely right, but I definitely need to learn more complex grammar patterns and start using them.

I am already not getting enough sleep, and I need to sleep off this funk I seemed to have worked myself into tonight, so until next time.

~Shimon